Robert Charlebois
Paroles: Gordon Sheppard, musique: Robert Charlebois

A curious person is Mr. Plum,
Never glum,
'Though he had a one foot leg,
A one foot trunk, and a head going one foot high.
He juggled daggers without pause,
And sent them flashing through the sky.
Always a child and never a man,
Poor Mr. Plum, the dwarf.

He courted Big Bella, the bareback rider,
And tried her.
He juggled, she rode, they coupled in fun,
And soon were parents of an angelic son,
Who caught their days and stole their nights,
They called him Gabriel by the sun.
Always a child and never a man,
Glad Mr. Plum, the dwarf.

Sweet Gabriel brought them joy for seven years
Past all fears
Til suddenly, to the dwarf's dismay,
His brilliant boy grew taller day by day,
Til soon the son outgrew the sire,
And joy to jealousy gave way.
Always a child and never a man,
Sad Mr. Plum, the dwarf.

Poor Mr. Plum grew sick and cold with envy,
Til one night, the moon in his head,
Moaning in secret he wished his son dead,
A roar of wrath, he flashed his knife,
And severed Gabriel's head.
Always a child and never a man
Mad Mr. Plum, the dwarf.

As a favour to the height of the condemned
Like a friend
The hangman built a shorter fall,
But the mad dwarf, shouting, shattered the pall...
"No! I want to die like a man!"
And the hangman heeded his call.
No longer a child, at last a man,
Poor Mr. Plum, the dwarf,
The dwarf, the dwarf...

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